illustration by Mika Inohara

Without nights in Ofuna, I couldn't live. It sounds like a little exaggerated, but it's true. Even now, I'm sure that there is someone who feels in the same way as me. Today, I'm going to write about when I started to drink in Osaka as much as I remember.

　Although I'd been a kind of person who was mentally unstable, my mental condition deteriorated dramatically when I was 28 years old. The doctor told me that I was under a depressive state (few years later it was found that what I got was manic depression). It was 7 years ago from now that I was moved to Ofuna. New environment and no friends made me anxious. I was struggling to fit into new lifestyle. Top on that, at that time I worked at my house and spend many hours of my day not to go outside. One day, I decided to go outside. To a certain extent I like drinking, thus I thought going outside at night might be good idea. I wanted to talk someone anyway.
　When the sky got dark, the atmosphere of Ofuna changed like a girl wearing different clothes for a night. Distributing flyers were speaking to people to lure more customers. People were wandering around and looking for a good place to drink. The others were going on a bar hopping. There were also faces of regular customers along the streets. I joined to the crows. Début of my night life in Ofuna.
　I feel like that daytime has its own world where people have to live "as" someone. As a worker of ◯◯ company, as mother, as a manager of team... sometimes I am unconfutable because by being "as" someone my life loses some extend of freedom, even I know that where I belong is important that I cannot ignore. Thinking the world where I live as someone made me sick.On the other hands, the night world is somewhat friendly I feel. Is it because darkness of night includes essential property that makes me throw off the mask that I wore in daytime and brings out my nature? Before I even knew it, what I thought and what I felt comes out of my mouth. The conversation never stops, and it gradually melts our masks of "as". I love nothing more than the moment.
　There is no border at the night in Ofuna. Everyone can go any bars and enjoys the moment, irrespective of age or gender. No public view, no rule, and no categorization. This sense of unaffected free is something that Ofuna can give us.
　For me, it's close to a feeling of travelling, of summer vacation. I remember that on the way home I was like after watching an extraordinary movie. The next morning, I was like in a daydream after reading a heap of books. If I would say, spending nights in Ofuna was, in other words, "experience", "encounter", "something irreversible", and "impurities of me and strangers", where I sometime found myself being what I've never imagined almost as if falling in love with someone. Gagashiko, soraya, ofunachampuru, garakuta, andansu... I went out for a small trip almost every night, visiting my favorites dining bars.I was surprised to see that live concerts at bar were constantly held. No charge there, just putting money, if you like, into basket or hat passed around costumers. I felt that this is what the relation of performer and viewers before capitalism was like.
　I sometimes found one of my drinking companions suddenly turning into the singer, playing some song with beautiful sounds of guitar. As I mentioned, no rule, anyone with a noble spirit could be a singer. I still remember how much I was surprised at first time I saw the state that reminded me of natural thing that everyone ought to have right to create music and sing.
　Going on a bar hopping, as the night wore on, became one of my habit. Going back to the first bar to have one more shot before going home. It seems like I was drinking at the bar called Ofuna, instead of bar itself. For me, Ofuna is a big house with many rooms, and each of those is selling alcohol. "Which room shall I go next?"
　1 year had passed since my night adventure began. I became perceptibly energetic, founding that Ofuna became somewhere that I can call it my place, my home. I'd never thought that kind of strong feeling when I lived in other cities.

　Now I miss those days at nights in Ofuna. Having baby brought me not only pleasant but also unexpected busyness with many difficulties. Time flies really quickly. Sometimes having got an impulse to run away from being as mother, I go out for the nights. No public view, no rule, and no categorization. The next morning, a fleshing air makes me realize that Ofuna saved my life again. Written by Sai